The year that has been 2024/25

As the 2024/25 academic year starts to wind up I am feeling deeply unsettled about the future of my academic career. I, like many I suppose, hoped that the Labour government would stand up for universties in a way they really haven't (which itself is an understatement!), and the landscape is bleak.* My year has been odd, to say the least, given the position I have - as an externally funded research fellow who has no real departmental 'home', I have felt like a bit of an academic orphen. I don't have any colleagues and I don't have any students. I feel I shouldn't really complain about it, given I also haven't had to go to a single meeting all year, but there is something of feeling a bit like a fraud when you are without-academic-home. I thought, though, that this might be a nice time to sit down and reflect on the year and what I have achieved, because while the landscape and next year - at least - are looking exceptionally bleak, in many ways my career is in the best place it's ever been, on paper.

Three things got published this year, first an article in Material Religion on clothing dedications for Artemis in Athens. Next, an odd short article about the so-called Ploutonian, a sensory experience that I had at Eleusis, being Autistic, and how all of that comes together in a way that might say something about the Eleusinian Mysteries. And then finally a piece I've been working on for a long time, about - essentailly - why Hermes and Artemis cross into the space occupied by people on the Parthenon Frieze. On the trade side, Brief Histories: Ancient Greece came out this year, which was pretty exciting, though I have been not very good at advertising or promoting it.

I've also written a lot. Like weirdly a lot. Just things finished and already submitted, I have written a chapter on how embodied experiances shape women's religious identity in Athens, one on how contemporary Hellenic Polytheists engage with ancient evidence (with another article on this half drafted), another on how the Parthenon Frieze functions as a tool of memory, and an article about how Artemis manifests in the landsacape around Brauron and what that means for the ritual experiance of the little girls who 'play bears' there. 

I gave more papers that I perhaps should have (with more to come over the summer!) and it's probably not surprosing that they're all either about Brauron or something to do with the Panathenaia or Parthenon, and different kinds of sensory approaches to ancient religion. If you happen to be at the upcoming Classical Association conference in St Andrews, not only will I be giving an actual paper (titled 'Time’s Sacred Thread: Chronoception and Ritual Labour in the Weaving of the Panathenaic Peplos’) but also will be delivering a guided meditation of the Panathenaic Procession. Both will be in session 1 (on Friday, at midday, in seminar room 1 in Younger Hall).

Speaking of ancient religion, I set up the New Perspectives on Ancient Greek Religion collaborative working group, and wrote (with Ben Cassell and Susan Deacy) a proposal for a new book series of the same name (more information on that will hopefully be coming soon!). Along with that I wrote the proposal for my own next book, which will be called (at this stage) The Material Ecology of Religion: Bodies, Objects, and Sacred Spaces in Archaic and Classical Athens. 

In terms of research I am currently doing, I've just been to Athens where I spent three days scanning the site of Brauron. I think the model will take a while to clean up properly (as you can see from the preview below), but it was wonderful to spend so long just being on site. I was allowed to go both into the courtyard of the stoa (where I had a really interesting experiance of the ground texture) and into the collapsed cave. 

@elliemackinroberts Reasons why going to sites and being willing and open to experiencing those sites sensorily is so important for what I do as an ancient historian. #archaeology #classicalarchaeology #ancientmedstudies #ancienthistory #artemis #athens ♬ original sound - Dr Ellie Mackin Roberts □

There's a few other bits and pieces that I'm working on. A piece about Pausanias as archaeologist of religion, an article about supproting Autistic students in Classics and Ancient History, more work on Brauron, and the Panathenaia. I am very much planning to turn my focus to the mongraph from here, though.

Less academic, I also wrote a children's novel - which may or may not see the light of day. It's about two little girls, named Panerista and Archippe, who are chosen to be arrhephoroi at the very end of the 5th century, under the tutelage of Lysimache. Panerista's dad supported the democracy, and Archippe's dad supported the oligarchic coup and weird things are going on with Athens's olive groves. The girls have to figure out their differences to work together, there's a mystery (of course!), and everyone ends up friends at the end (it is written for 7-10 year olds!).

I didn't do anywhere near the amount of social media stuff that I would have liked, but (to be very frank) I just was not in the headspace for a lot of the year, because I have (as I indicated above!) felt really quite shit about my career and my (self-)worth as an academic.

Finally, I want to say something personal. This is all I will say about it, and I won't be answering any further questions. This is also my content note for weight and bodies - please feel free to stop reading.

I have lost a lot of weight this year. I say this explicitly because it's clearly very obvious to anyone who has looked at a photograph of me recently, let alone seen me in person. And, I do mean a lot - half my bodyweight. I am fine. I am not ill, although there is a medical reason that this happened (no, I did not take ozempic). I have noticed several things, including how much better I am treated generally in a smaller body than a larger one - including by people I know would be horrified to realise that they treat me differently now than before (which is to say, fatphobia is pervasive, and just knowing that fat folks are not inferior doesn't mean one doesn't fall into the trap of treating them so). I sometimes wonder if I might have a permanent job had I been in this smaller body several years ago. That is, in itself, quite an uncomfortable thought.

That's all. My goal for the rest of the year is to try and feel more confident about myself as a scholar, as a person that other people want to be collagues with (which is something I really do not feel presently!), and as someone who is much less affected by rejection dysphoria (unlikely). More than that, though, my goal is to continue to write things I am proud of. And if I'm deeply honest with myself, I'm very proud of the research I am doing right now. I think it's interesting, and - more than that - I think it's necessary.

I just wish people on hiring comittees also felt that way.

*To give you a sense of the year so far, and how it compares to previous years: this year I have applied for three jobs and been interviewed for one. The same time last year, I had applied for 19, and already had six interviews.